Monday, October 3, 2011

Wait For The Sigh

What you lookin' at?
Here they are! I mean, here I am! Nick snapped this picture of me as I was heading out to a play with the kiddos on Sunday afternoon.  As I said before, my new shape looks pretty decent with clothes on, and I'm still optimistic that clothes off will look more natural as things have time to settle.  

Just for the record, besides the whole boobs thing, it still freaks me out that I'm a short haired brunette.  I mean, nothing sucked worse than being bald, and I don't dislike this new short dark do, but it's definitely weird.  In my head, I'm still a gal with long highlighted blond hair.  I swear, I'm still surprised at my reflection every time I look in the mirror.  Will I keep it short and dark?  Probably not, but it's been kind of fun to have this alter ego.  

So this morning I finally had that overdue MRI (actually MRA, but same same).  As you may recall, the docs found a small 2mm aneurysm in my brain in the Circle of Willis area (don't ask me) the day I cracked my face open when I passed out in our bathroom while I was going through chemo in June 2010.  That whole last sentence seems like a joke- was that me?  Anyhoo, I now have to get annual MRA's to make sure that aneurysm isn't growing.  As long as it stays the same size, we can ignore it.  Fine with me.

What I am most scared of is finding out that I could possibly have breast cancer tumors in my brain.  Breast cancer definitely likes to metastasize to the brain, the cruel disease that it is.  I begged the technician today to take a quick peek at the scan and tell me secretly if there were any tumors.  As you can probably guess, I was heartily denied.  I've got to wait 2-3 days for the doctors to review the films and get back to me.  Seriously?  Agony.  

Sweet Nick was not able to go to the hospital with me this morning because he was heading to Santa Monica for the day to meet with clients.  So he covertly texted every family member he had in his phone to ask them to contact me with encouragement.  I know he's worried too, but pretends not to be, just to help keep me sane.  

I of course will update my blog with the results as soon as I get the all clear from my doctor later this week.  I truly think everything is just fine, but I would like to be able to remove this one worry off my very full plate.  If you hear a sigh of relief coming from central Phoenix later this week, you'll know it was me.

With love on a Monday night as it finally begins to cool off in the desert,


  1. wow Kristin!
    They look great- and they are just getting settled as you said, so it's way too early to judge.
    Jenn Wild

  2. Virginia (Nick's Mom)October 4, 2011 at 3:08 PM

    You look fabulous!!! XOXO

  3. Hi Kristin, so sorry I did not see this blog last look amazing and I hear your concern about 'with closes off' so maybe just wear sexy tops for awhile and stay away from mirrors (*_*)...have you started your book yet? The leaves are falling in Pa and the color is beautiful...enjoy your sleeveless clothes...that time has pasted here...each day gift God your pain and worries and stay focused on those sweet kids and your wonderful hubby. God Bless and angel hugs, Deborah McLean