I've got two girlfriends in the thick of it right now, and I so want them to know that there really is calm after the storm. Wimberly is recovering from her mastectomy surgery and Gabbee just had her first Taxol infusion this week. I vividly remember those days, but it's not comfortable to do so. It was just so miserable. But, the very good news is that my lingering despair from that time is fading and I don't want to go back there in my mind anymore because it effects my today, and my todays are great. Truly great.
My calendar is filling up, and not with doctor's appointments. I'm walking Central Avenue with my favorite girlfriends, I'm gluing jewels on magic wands with the kids in Fisher's preschool class, and I'm giggling and petting the rescued kittens at Petsmart with Jenny-Jane. It's all good stuff.
Last Friday I spent the sunny afternoon catching up with one the angels in my life, my dear friend Megan from Kansas. This weekend, Nick and I have plans to eat a lot and laugh a lot with other couples who we adore. Sunday I even get treated to a spa day with one of my best friends, Jen, while Nick plays a much deserved round of golf with the boys. Is this what you call normal? If so, normal is fantastic!
Yes, I still worry about recurrence every day, every hour. And yes, the expanders in my chest will be uncomfortable until the day I have them removed, six months or so from now. But feeling healthy has shifted my perception. I find myself planning for my future, and I see myself in my children's futures. Somethings that I haven't been able to do for quite some time.
I think about my friends still in treatment, and know they are suffering. Where they are is so rough. It's physical, it's mental, and it really, really sucks. Like my friend Krista before me, I want to exemplify how beautiful life is again on the other side. Please girls, keep charging through. There is so much more than before. You'll see.