Friday, September 10, 2010

Let The Radiation Begin

Since my last post was a bevy of health complaints, I should probably update on how everyone is doing.  Thank the good Lord that Jenny-Jane is finally feeling better and eating again.  She not completely out of the woods, but her mouth ulcers seem to be gone and she's only waking up about one time per night crying for me.  That's a serious improvement.  She chowed a big cotton candy flavored ice cream cone tonight so I think she's ok.  Nick's cold is in full swing but he's already tricked his doctor into antibiotics, Fisher's cold has officially begun and is just at the point where it's gonna be a rough weekend for him.  I'm still coughing up a lung but I am definitely feeling better than earlier in the week.  I just think I'm going to heal slower since my immune system is still compromised.  And our black cat Felix?  Oh, now there's a story.

I mentioned that Felix came home Wednesday night missing a huge chunk of his side fur and flesh.  Nick thinks it was from a dog, I'm betting it was a hit and run.  Whatever, he needed some medical attention. So Fisher and I took him to the vet Thursday morning.  The super cute blond female doctor winces and says "Oh my, that's really bad".  So she takes Felix in the back, gives him a good shave, and returns without the cat, but with a single piece of paper that totals how much his care will be.  The bottom line?  $880 for xrays, surgery and medication.  Oh yeah, $880.  So I then ask, how much for the other option?  You know what I mean.  So again she leaves the room and returns with another sheet of paper, bottom line, $200.  I had to call Nick.  His response was "we saved him once (we got him from a shelter) so we may as well do it again".  Thank you sweet husband.  I'm going through cancer treatment and my Dad died three weeks ago.  I was not going to be able to put down this cat without losing my mind.  So I told the doctor that the "governor" gave him a stay of execution and to go ahead with the surgery.  We picked him up last night and while he looks like a patchwork quilt, he's living the high life, literally, enjoying pain meds and luxuriating in our guest bedroom for two weeks.  Insane.  

Ok, change of topic.  That last one was just too weird.  Let's talk radiation.  Today I had my second "simulation" where I finally got to go into the room with the SUPER huge radiation machine.  This is a million plus dollar piece of equipment, at least.  For the first time that I can remember throughout my treatment, I actually felt like a number.  I laid under this thing for forty minutes, gown open, while three techs and my doctor drew on my chest with a green Sharpie and lined up the lasers.  They spoke in a language of coordinates and pretty much disregarded the fact that a lovely, fun girl, who happens to be bald, was laying there with tears in her eyes.  It felt so mechanical.  I regretted that I came to this appointment by myself.  The reason why I was there finally sunk in and I felt scared and alone.  I don't have too many of these moments, thank goodness, but they do hit even the toughest of fighters.

I'm not blaming the technicians.  They see patients every fifteen minutes throughout the week for radiation.  My time slot will be 8:15am for now, starting on Monday.  I'll be able to get up, run to treatment, fly home to get Fisher and take him to school, and then have my morning to play with Jenny-Jane or get a few things done.  I was told that I can't wear deodorant under my right arm for the entire six weeks of radiation.  I guess because of its ingredients, deodorant would magnify the radiation on my skin and burn me worse, yikes.  So please be kind and ignore any B.O. issues I may acquire, yes, it's still one hundred degrees here in Phoenix.   Really?  What an insult to injury.  

So my newest adventure of radiation starts next week, finally.  I'll keep you abreast (tee hee) of what it's all about, the good bad and ugly.  I'm getting closer to the finish line of this intense treatment plan that started in April.  Yes, I still have my implant surgery next fall, but I'll have a year between to hopefully be normal again.  I can't wait.

With wishes for a very happy weekend,


  1. So sorry you were alone - that stinks!! I think of you daily for one reason or another but mostly because I start my day with a prayer for my cancer girls! Take care and stay are doing a beautiful job of getting through with all this! xxoo - Nan

  2. virginia (Nick's Mom)September 12, 2010 at 11:16 AM

    We'll all be thinking of you especially much tomorrow morning...and hoping that it goes smoothly and with minimum side effects. Love and hugs!

  3. Sorry your radiation experience was not good. I think it will get better. Going forward, the therapists should have more time to talk with you and get to know you. They should not have ignored you to the point where you felt like a number and cried. I am sorry you had that experience. Hang in there.