Sunday, August 29, 2010

Reality Check

They say that this whole cancer thing is going to give you wonderful new views on life, you learn to appreciate every moment and you truly stop sweating the small stuff. And generally I would go along with all of it. Well, tonight I say BALONEY!  After a pretty normal weekend of swimming, farmer marketing, and playing with friends, the kids have totally pushed me over the edge.  I am pretty certain I screamed to Nick tonight "they are mocking me!!!"  To which he calmly said "Jenny-Jane isn't even two, I promise, she is not mocking you."  Oh, she was, and that other one was too.  Their dinner at the little red table was a fiasco of defiance, the "flashlight walk" after dinner was good idea gone bad and I'm certain bedtime will be on a upcoming episode of "Cops" with the theme song Bad Mom, Bad Mom, What-Ya Gonna Do When They Whine for You.  Jenny-Jane is still calling my name from her crib at 9:45pm as I write this and Fisher called Daddy into his room distraught about my attitude.  Mine???  Who put expresso in their sippy cups??

Deep breath.  

So, to all my sweet friends and family who often say "you are handling this all so well,"  "you are so strong," and my favorite "how do you keep it together when everything around you is falling apart?", I say, here you go.  Here's proof of my many moments of insanity. While we are really trying hard to just get through this ugly episode in our lives, I can tell you that it's far from easy.  Kinda the opposite of easy.  

Oh, don't worry.  We'll make it, of course we will.  Just thought it was time for a reality check.

With love and without patience,


  1. Oh I can't wait to call you to share something from Friday! I totally lost my patience, and then YOU popped into my head! Seriously! I thought, "I should be so grateful for this moment," I moved thru it and have you to thank for it! I am calling you today! Hugs!

  2. I often think my children are mocking me or taunting me (still do) so you are in good company. With love and without patience too, Ashley

  3. I think Pat would agree with you on the kids' behaviour sometimes. Clara (age 10) asked Pat if being grumpy was a side-effect of chemotherapy. Not sure how that passed through Clara's mind-to-mouth filter, but I bet it does not get asked again.


  4. Let it out, let it all out. This blog is a great place to vent. We all have out moments, and kids know exactly what buttons to push, even at two.

    Julie (mother of 3)

  5. I am laughing (not at you, but with you, I promise:) Steve and I often sing the word "BLISS" really loud when these evenings occur, where one of us is taking his or her turn to throw an adult tantrum (which is pretty often). I know we will miss these times when our kids are little, but they are not easy, they try your patience. and I can't imagine having to deal with them when you are fighting for your life. Our kids are loved and they know it and they will forgive us...I hope:) Thinking of you, Jen Sayre

  6. LOL! I am cracking up at the new version of the "cops' theme song that is now running through my head.....over and over. love your doses of humor among the craziness and always happy to read about your progress.