They say that this whole cancer thing is going to give you wonderful new views on life, you learn to appreciate every moment and you truly stop sweating the small stuff. And generally I would go along with all of it. Well, tonight I say BALONEY! After a pretty normal weekend of swimming, farmer marketing, and playing with friends, the kids have totally pushed me over the edge. I am pretty certain I screamed to Nick tonight "they are mocking me!!!" To which he calmly said "Jenny-Jane isn't even two, I promise, she is not mocking you." Oh, she was, and that other one was too. Their dinner at the little red table was a fiasco of defiance, the "flashlight walk" after dinner was good idea gone bad and I'm certain bedtime will be on a upcoming episode of "Cops" with the theme song Bad Mom, Bad Mom, What-Ya Gonna Do When They Whine for You. Jenny-Jane is still calling my name from her crib at 9:45pm as I write this and Fisher called Daddy into his room distraught about my attitude. Mine??? Who put expresso in their sippy cups??
So, to all my sweet friends and family who often say "you are handling this all so well," "you are so strong," and my favorite "how do you keep it together when everything around you is falling apart?", I say, here you go. Here's proof of my many moments of insanity. While we are really trying hard to just get through this ugly episode in our lives, I can tell you that it's far from easy. Kinda the opposite of easy.
Oh, don't worry. We'll make it, of course we will. Just thought it was time for a reality check.
With love and without patience,