Thursday, June 10, 2010

I Miss You Mom!!

Hi Everyone!
I am writing to you from my favorite coffee shop in Phoenix, Lola, in an effort to feel a tad normal and escape the housecleaners this morning. I'm enjoying a decaf caramel something made with crazy calorie caramel syrup- the more calories the better to maintain my weight.

Our last post was from my Mom who was here for a short, but truly healing visit. I honestly attribute my very mild chemo reactions this week to having her love in the house. Just her holding my hand was like an electric current that banged out any remaining cancer cells, I could feel it. On Monday she accompanied me to chemo where nurse Lyndsay gave her a big welcoming hug that started the tears rolling. She also got to meet my wonderful oncologist, Dr. Wendt. I'm sure watching her youngest daughter getting pumped with toxic chemicals was torture, but she was brave. Wonderfully, after treatment, I was able to eat a good lunch, lay in bed with my mom next to me, chat for an hour and even take a 2-hour nap. My mom said she watched me sleep, how touching is that? I woke up feeling cruddy, but not terrible. No migraine! I even ate a little dinner and slept most of the night. A mom's love is incredibly powerful.

Tuesday took us back to the oncologist for my white blood cell boosting shot and then to the plastic surgeon to check on my infection. Things seem to be in good shape there, and I remain on five antibiotic pills each day. My mom left Tuesday afternoon and although I was heartbroken to see her go, I was more grateful that she could be here at all. I do think she was a bit stunned by how serious my condition is, and how difficult it is to run a household with kiddos under these circumstances. Nick, Diane and Judy are working their tails off all the time here, there is little reprieve. I guess I really do put a good spin on our lives right now, as even my Mom was surprised. So, I'm not going to be a big downer from now on, but I am going to give a few more gritty details as not to mask how hard this all really is.

Wednesday I attended a newcomers meeting at what seems to be an amazing community center for cancer patients and caregivers. It's in a beautiful restored historic home less than a mile from our house. I can take exercise, meditation and lots of other informational classes for free, pretty cool. I even met two other women going through breast cancer treatment and we lamented about how our hair loss has been one of the hardest parts of our journey. The meeting was waaaaaay to long and wore me out for the rest of the day, but I'm glad I went. I even had to cancel my physical therapy because I was so pooped. I'm guessing I was also coming down from the high of having my Mom here. I had a little pity party for myself last night, but seem to be better today.

Today I plan to take it easy and continue my chemo week recovery. I've learned not to push it too hard and to stay out of the heat. I've also learned that around day 8 after treatment (Monday or so) I need to be especially careful as my white blood cells drop and rise fast due to my Neulasta shot. I'm determined to get through this #3 chemo with no infection and definitely no more trips to the hospital. I'm hoping to finally have a "good week" after chemo where I can carefully act a little more normal.

Oh, and the photo above is from Tuesday before my Mom and I headed out to appointments. My Mom looks great, but I don't look my best. It was the day after chemo, so I'll give myself a break. I am realizing that my ears are huge! I hear that Super Glue works to keep them pinned back, oh, I'm not kidding :)

I send my love to all near and far,


  1. You and your mom both look great. It was impossible to read that post without a tear in my eye, but I just want to thank you for keeping us posted on your progress. Once again, you remind us to be grateful for every blessing we have, no matter how small. Sorry for being mushy, I don't have my sister's wit!!!
    In our prayers as always,
    the Seaquists from Colorado

  2. virginia (Nick's Mom)June 11, 2010 at 8:18 AM

    Beautiful Mom, beautiful daughter! Thank you soooo much for the update. Sometimes resting and letting others tend the kids and the household are the hardest things to do. It's great you've started with the support group. No one can really understand what you're going through except those who have/are experiencing something similar. Keeping fingers crossed for continued equilibrium after this treatment...Much love always.

  3. I don't know Kristin. I think you look cute in that pic. Quite honestly I think you look great.

    You are in our thoughts all the time and we just wanted to drop a line to say we are thinking of you.

    Seamus Flannery, Limerick, Ireland.

  4. Glad you had a good visit with your mom. I hope you have a restful weekend. Enjoy the slightly cooler weather with the kids!

    I will be bringing you dinner on Sunday and a yummy high calorie dessert.

  5. Hair, look awesome!!!! Glad your Mommy could give you comfort - good for your soul and hers!

    xoxo - Nan

  6. You certainly know how to make a girl cry!! I am SO happy your mom could be with you. I know how important it was to both of you. Hold those days close to your heart and the next few will be easier. Love to the family!!!

  7. Hello doll,

    I am so delighted your mommy was able to make it down for a chemo visit. I feel as you do, that a mother's love is more healing than anything!

    You are radiant in the picture with your mother. I am not minimizing that hairloss is devastating and difficult my dear friend but dang you are a beautiful woman. You know I don't give false are both beaming with love & joy and you just look so pretty. (For the record, I didnt' notice your ears! No glue sister! No glue! lol) I love you. Your Prayer Warrior, s

  8. Hi Kristin, what a joy to have your Mom by your side, if even if just for a short time...the healing power of Moms is one of those amazing gifts God has given us. You are looking amazing and the picture of both of you is a keeper! :)...hoping and praying that you get through this next week with little side effects and have a chance to really begin to rest and recapture those white cells that seem to want to disappear...enjoy eating all the high calorie foods that the rest of us must pass by. Blessings and major prayers from the Pocono warriors, Deborah