Friday, May 21, 2010

Thank You Claudia!

Yesterday my sister Claudia left. As her taxi pulled away from my house, I stood on the front porch and cried and cried. So did nanny Judy who came to really love Claudia as they worked together to wrangle my brood and make sure everyone was fed and loved and cleaned and napped while I tried to rest as much as possible. This was the first long-term stint Claudia had spent in my home and she had the chance to really get to know and love my kids. Each morning she would wake up early with Fisher, let him paw through her beautiful jewelry, pick out her day's pieces and carefully put them on her. She endured Jenny-Jane's sassy smacks and "go! go!" when we were late for nap. She was never still. She was forever grocery shopping, picking up Fisher from school, preparing meals, cleaning the kitchen, clearing out the fridge, and doing whatever else she might have seen needing attention. That girl's a workhorse and we all could take a lesson from her. Thank you, dear sister, for spending so much time with us and loving us like you did and do. We adore you and are so very grateful for your time here.

But not to worry. We we are not lost, heaven's no. My wonderful sister Diane is still here living just a couple miles away. Diane has always been a constant force in our family's lives and has generously upped her time here since my diagnosis. She is sooo good with the kids, even in their naughtiest mode. She spoils Fisher, her godson, like crazy with WAY too many gifts. She bakes like a madwoman, and if she had her way, we would be eating food from her restaurant, Red Devil, every night of the week. She makes herself ridiculously available to us, and we are very lucky to have her. We love you so, Diane. And even though Fisher always chose Claudia for nighttime stories, he has yet to call you Grandma, once. Sorry about that, Claudia.

On tap this weekend are visits from my homies, my wild (emphasis on wild) and wonderful college pals. One of my very best friends Marcy, who now lives in San Francisco, is here and even baked us a delicious, bacon and calorie-filled dinner last night. One more descends on Monday from north Scottsdale. Rebecca will take me to chemo and stay the night. I've already warned Nurse Lyndsay to brace herself for the event. I can't wait.

You know, this whole cancer thing really sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks. But you know what? Claudia never would have been here for 8 days, Diane would not normally be here almost every day of the week, Marcy wouldn't have made me dinner on a random Thursday night, and I haven't had a sleepover with my college gals in 20 years. I'm seeing so many silver linings and spots of color that I never would have experienced or noticed if I hadn't been diagnosed with cancer. I'm going to come out of this whole, and I'm going to be different. I'm going to be better, and that's pretty amazing.


  1. Yes, you're right. That is profoundly amazing. Through all of the suffering, such a sweet gift to have been given... to truly know how much you are loved. xo

  2. And THIS, my friend, is the CANCER BLESSING. So glad you can see it so early in your journey. Not that you were anything less than amazing before your diagnosis, but to be amazing and grateful and changed forever (all positive) is what you need to understand when you have those moments of "why?". You have so much to give and share and now you can use this experience to inspire others who walk the same road. Bless you and your journey!!! xoxo

  3. Kristin, Christie from Tucson again, and I just read your entry. Amazing and wonderful that we are having the same revelations out of this experience. I've been writing in my journal many of the same things you wrote about the silver lining and coming out of this even better than before. I was relieved that this is the line of thinking that my spirituality took me to in response to breast cancer and I am glad that you have that too. I hope Chemo goes well for you on Monday, I'll be in chemo too (here in Tucson). if you ever want to chat, my email is or you can go to so you can see that besides your loving supporters, there is another young mom that totally gets it.