Thursday, May 13, 2010

All is Calm, All is Bright

Sisters, Sisters! My Sisters are here! Hugging my sister Claudia when she arrived at my house last night from Oregon around 8pm gave me a sense of safety that I haven't felt since my diagnosis. With both sisters including Diane, who lives here in Phoenix and is my constant companion, and Claudia here in my home, I have a special new energy. They whisked into my bedroom, put away all the piles of clean clothes (I can't reach my high hangars due to surgery), popped all the deflating mylar balloons, disposed of gift bags, cleaned out the refrigerator, cleared off the counters and just put me at ease that order can be maintained throughout this chaos.

Today was pleasant and easy. Claudia and I took Fisher to school, ran a couple quick errands and I was able to rest most of the day. Both kids napped and ate good dinners and went to bed. Kind of normal, wow. The kids are comfortable too. I can feel that they know that Diane and Claudia are part of me, and they feel a true mothering in our home, even when I'm resting or taking a time out. Knowing that my babes feel this love is my best medicine of all.

My sickie-feeling chemo symptoms seem to be lessoning, although my chest surgery incisions and internal expanders are a constant pain and nag- but that's ok, I'm only two weeks out from major surgery. I get pooped easily, but I have the freedom to rest as needed. Truly, I feel safe, and that's priceless.

Nick is having a much needed night out with two best friends Pete and Darren, and I'm about to settle in for the night. I know I promised a photo of my new cropped haircut, but we forgot to take one, oops. So, here's one of me with Fisher and Jenny-Jane helping the hairdresser. Fisher even got to make the first cut with the sharp scissors. Tomorrow I'll fluff myself up and get a photo of my new "do" which is actually pretty cute. I just wish I could keep it longer than about 10 more days- as what I've been told. I'm really, really not ready for that part!!

No appointments for tomorrow, another day to rest and recuperate. I once again have to say thank you to everyone for your cards, calls, texts, gifts, flowers and food. Is it possible to gain weight during chemo? I might just do that. The homemade food in my home is so filled with love and calories, it's perfect. I'm gonna go have a dish of frozen custard from my hometown and get ready for another good day with my sisters.
With love,


  1. There's nothing like sisters for comfort, love and laughter! What a joy for you three to be together right now. I'm convinced that there's nothing the beautiful and talented Knotek sisters can't accomplish! I'm so grateful you all feel so safe and beloved with Aunts Diney and Claudia there. Looking forward to the 'bob' photo! XO

  2. Yay! Claudia & Diane & K together! I think there may be some trouble brewin' in Phoenix :) Can't wait to see your beautiful new bob-photo doll! Take this journey one day at a time...try to put worries out of your head and focus on special moments with your sissies, your hubby and kids. Hugs & love to you my friend!

  3. Oh your post made me so happy! You don't have to be such a perfect patient, you know! LOVE, Wendy

  4. Week one over! yeh ha! enjoy the precious time with your for the moment and eat what ever you want! Looking forward to the photo's of your new bob:) When you feel like you need to it...hold nothing in, it will help your wellness factor:) Prayers are flowing non stop to your precious home and covering you and your dear family...hugs, Deborah from the Pocono's

  5. Can't wait to see your new do! I'm sure you will look great. You are beautiful inside and out.

  6. Enjoy the time with your sisters! We are sending lots of love and prayers your way. Can't wait to see the new hairdo!

    Dan, Laura, Meghan, and Emily Morris

  7. Custard from Milwaukee -how great is that. Think of you daily. Can't wait for tomorrow to see you cute hair - you couldn't really look cuter than you do now.

    Much Love, Karen